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The whole story part 2

Someone who I admire a great deal sent me a couple of insightful yet encouraging emails.

He shared how we have absolutely no idea what it must be like for a woman to carry our child for 9-10 months inside her, then be with 24-7, breastfeeding and taking care.  Than having to leave and go off to work.  A job that I should be doing.  He also said “it is difficult to understand, or estimate the power of the instinct of a man to provide for his family”.  To be a “ROCK”.  “Bro don’t worry I have never stopped”.  And that’s why I have been absent from this blog. I have been trying to keep this whole thing together with dumb looks, silly songs and pretty crumby dinners as of late. 

So when your wife borderline despises you for making her go off to work, just be that rock of love.

Truthfully this is not what I had planned out for myself during my 20’s and 30’s.  This has been a difficult time; frankly I haven’t felt all that funny or even good about myself.  In fact there isn’t much I wouldn’t do to change things for her.  I would pull every tooth out of my head with a pair of vice grips, using nothing but a 6 pack and 4 Advil’s as pain killer.  If I could trade places with her right now…  Ok that’s kind a funny because she is a white collar girl and I just had a vision of me with my freshly done oral surgery all dressed up in a suit in her office.

 So big picture we are doing fine, and a lot better than most.  No Fox News did not do a story, but if they did they would been 100%  right for a change.    We have so much to be grateful for.

Thanks to all for your support, and thanks to whoever put up that kitty poster in grade school.

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 The Daddy Adjustment

Take 3… part 1

Before starting this blog I had intended to create a space for individual expression and connectivity were encouraged.  A place to have fun journaling all the adventures and learning’s of the modern day stay at home dad.  “What a great way to have fun and connect with new people with like interest” I thought. Perhaps I could provide someone with a much needed laugh or giggle, and the feeling of “you’re not alone”.  That all sounds really nice right? 

 Well as some of you have noticed I have been absent from my blog resulting in being out of communication with all my loyal readers and followers.  In my experience the first part of connecting with others is showing up.  For this I apologize for my abrupt hiatus.   I – We have gone through another “adjustment” It is my intension to turn this latest difficult challenge into honest reporting in hopes that it offer solace to someone who may have, are now, or will be soon in the same position. 

I am 40 years old.  I don’t know if any of you remember that old poster of the kitty hanging from a string by his front paws in school and it read “Hang in there”.  The one I found here online wasn’t the one I remember but it gets the point across.  For the last three weeks I have been that kitty.  I can still picture that poster stuck on a cold cinderblock school blue wall.  That environment to me as a young man was extremely ridged and in my eyes at the time flirted with a certain level of institutionalism.  But yet that kitty poster was there.  I still recall it offering me comfort, that it wasn’t all brick walls and unbending rules.  There was compassion, encouragement, and support. 

 I feel like I have been a sham, and I don’t blame Fox News for the story. For once they got it right, I have been a fraud.  “Oh look at me the modern stay at home dad”.  Check out my halfcocked recipes and funny musings”. Enjoy my first hand count reviews of baby products, and please follow my links to my Daddy Adjustment Cooking Network reviews.  All while raising a happy healthy well feed family.

 The truth is, during this time my wife was still working only half days.  Three weeks ago, you guessed it.  She went back full time.   Let me just say I was unaware of what horror laid directly ahead of me. Witnessing my wife having to go back to work for the better part of 9 hours was miserable.  She was devastated.  I was not prepared for the level of devastation.  For the first week everyday started and ended with tears.  I am NOT one who enjoys when their wife is upset. If she’s not happy than neither am I. 

 Don’t get me wrong here I tried to rock it out Daddy style.  First day back to work she came home to stories of baby and I grocery shopping and one of her favorite’s on the table Chicken Piccata.  My wife was unaffected.  “Ok I thought” second day I will break out the real guns.  I made her Favorite meatballs and homemade sauce with angel hair pasta.  She couldn’t have been more congenial and heart broken.  All the homemade meat ball s and the world weren’t going to mend this wound.